Let's play a quick game of 2 truths and a lie. You guess which one of the following statements is a lie, and if you're correct I'll make you dinner (but not clean the dishes). Which of these has NOT happened to me this week:
1. A hastily swung hammer to the ceiling resulted in a black, fluffy, asbestos-y substance to rain down on Ryan an I's heads. The mental anguish over our increased mortality rate and the financial stress of professionally removing asbestos made for an unpleasant few days.
2. An inspection of my own body plus a handful of phone calls from family and friends who attended Ryan's surprise party confirms the presence of chiggers in his lawn. Still having trouble telling the bug bites from the poison ivy.
3. Will Smith started following me on Instagram and contacted me via phone call asking if I might be interested in being his personal chef.
Which is the lie? You're right! It wasn't asbestos after all! I feel like Nathan Lane's character from the movie Mouse Hunt, which if you don't know is the most genius piece of slapstick comedy ever marketed as a kid's movie. The good news is, I find harmless misfortune absolutely hilarious so this past week has been comedy gold. I also choked on a piece of sushi last Monday and I'm pretty sure there's grains of rice in my lungs now. Funny, right?!
Ryan gave me the idea for this breakfast tabbouleh (pronounced tab-ooli). We were poking around in his parent's fridge seeking free brunch one morning, not really feeling strongly about anything until he pulled out this magical tub of tabbouleh (pictured above). Bulghur wheat seasoned with fresh herbs, green onions, and lemon juice, dotted by bright jewel-like cherry tomatoes and diced cucumbers. Then, inspiration hit! Put an egg on it! Breakfast! It was so fresh and light and satisfying I just knew we were on to something great. I tweaked the recipe a little bit to add some more breakfast-y ingredients and tabbouleh that is officially meant for breakfast was born.
Normally it has mint in it as well as parsley, but I omitted the mint and replaced it with jalepenos and mushrooms for a more savory bite. Top a heaping bowl with slices of avocado and a runny fried egg and you have a really nourishing b-fast my friend. Prepare to feel super healthy and energized to make good decisions for the rest of the day. If your agenda, however, is to lay around and binge-watch Peaky Blinders, opt for toaster waffles instead. If you're planning on getting shit done, eat the tabbouleh. If you're planning on rehabbing a house, eat the tabbouleh then write down all the bodily harm that happens to you, then send me the list so I can have a good laugh. WITH you, not at you. If you're the type of person who doesn't like slapstick comedy, then, don't eat the tabbouleh and don't send me a list of your misfortunes. Because I won't cry for you. I'll laugh.
Makes: 8 servings
Time: 30 active minutes
Optimal: make tabbouleh the night before to let flavors meld
1 cup bulghur wheat
1 1/2 cups boiling water
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 1/2 tsp salt, plus more to taste
Fresh-cracked black pepper to taste
1 bunch minced green onions
1 bunch minced flat-leaf parsley
6-7 diced white mushrooms
1 diced jalepeno
1 carton cherry tomatoes, halved
1/2 avocado, sliced
1. Add bulghur wheat, boiling water, olive oil, lemon juice, and salt to a large bowl and stir. Let sit at room temperature for at least half and hour. Meanwhile, prepare green onions, parsley, mushrooms, jalepeno, and tomatoes.
2. When bulghur wheat has soaked in all the liquid, add all vegetables (besides avocado) to the bowl and stir until everything is evenly mixed. Season with more salt and pepper to taste. For optimal flavor, let sit on the fridge overnight.
3. Slice avocado. Immediately before serving, fry eggs. Serve tabbouleh in bowls and topped with avocado and fried or poached egg. Enjoy!